What is Self-Care?

Self-Care is not selfish; it is essential. Often, when people think of the word ‘self-care,’ they may have an internal belief that it is selfish to prioritise their own needs above others. I would often hear people say, “I don’t have time for myself,” or “I have other more important things to do” or “I am too busy.”

Wow, what a statement those three things say. Let’s look at the subconscious meaning behind those statements. The statement “I don’t have time for myself” really says “I am not important enough to have time for myself.” The statement “I have other more important things to do” really says “But I need to be there for everyone else, and I don’t matter, I am not important enough.” And “I am too busy” is saying “I am running away from myself.” That is the subconscious messages that a person is giving when they don’t think they deserve time for themselves.

As caring human beings, we would not tell other people, they don’t matter, that they should keep running after others and work too hard, yet we accept it for ourselves. A consequence of being there for others and not ourselves is that we can feel exhausted, and our energy levels get too low. Our immune system becomes impaired, and we can end up being sick and run down. What good are we for anyone then?

“To be our best for others, we need to be the best version of ourselves.” Sharon Fitzpatrick

Types of Self-care

Pampering self-care –

There is pampering like going to the hairdresser’s to get a treatment, or a wash and blow dry, or a re-style. Another would be to go for a facial or massage. Going for a treatment like reflexology might be relaxing and pampering for some. If, however, your budget is tight, you can soak your feet in warm water, adding some essential oils in the water. Then, massage your feet with some nice foot cream. A nice soak in the bath with some nice bubbles, while reading a good book or listening to some relaxing music. Smother moisturiser on your body after your bath or shower.

Fitness self-care –

Doing something physical is good for the body and mind. Taking care of your physical health and taking care of your body is important for your health. It is also good for emotional health, releasing those happy hormones. Endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin; reduces stress and helps regulate moods. Exercise helps release all four. Fitness comes in all forms, and you can find ones that suit your lifestyle and tastes. Examples are: Dancing, Swimming, Walking, Yoga, Pilates, Gym, Exercise class, Martial Arts, Skating, Tai-Chi, Cycling, Mountain Climbing, Gardening, and so much more. You can pay to go to classes or you can look online and learn how to do yoga, or dancing, etc., for free.

Types of Self Care - Sharon Talk Therapy

Hobbies –

Doing a hobby at home or going to a class is fun. It helps get out of your head and helps you be in the moment. Being in the moment and concentrating purposely on an activity is a way of practicing mindfulness. Trying a hobby can be something you have done before or it could be something new. When trying a new hobby, don’t expect perfection, it is about enjoying trying the activity. With practice of the hobby, it will improve and with that comes a sense of achievement, making you feel good and grows your confidence and self belief.

Hobbies can be physical like sports, hiking, jogging, dancing, or any type of exercise. They can be creative like art, sewing, knitting, crochet, woodwork, making jewellery, pottery, soap making, photography, playing music, composing songs, or writing. Collecting is a hobby that some people like to do, like stamps, teapots, coins, antiques, art, or whatever interests you. Intellectual hobbies like crosswords, Sudoku, jigsaw puzzles, listening to podcasts, playing chess, or trivia are healthy and fun hobbies.

Nature –

Being with nature is a fabulous way to relax and practice being in the moment. Nature calms the nervous system and re-energises us. Standing barefoot in the grass for a few minutes can ground us and has many health benefits. Sitting in the garden or a park, or at the beach, is a wonderful way to be with nature. Walking in the forest, surrounded by trees, plants, animals and birds, can bring us back to tranquillity. Some people love to hug a tree or stop and listen to the birds. Lots of people like to swim in the sea or do yoga on the beach. Spending time doing gardening is very therapeutic.

Physical Health –

Part of self-care is to be sure we look after our physical health through exercise and diet. Keeping active not only helps with looking after our physical bodies, but it also helps with our mental health too. But even though you may be active and eat well, it is good to have an annual check-up with your doctor. By getting your bloods done regularly, it ensures that you can keep an eye on internal things that you may not be aware of like cholesterol or blood sugar levels. Also, it is important to get your health checks, such as smear, prostate or breast.

Mental Health –

Our mental health is so important. If we do not look after our mental health, we can suffer emotionally, psychologically and physically as a result of poor mental health. Important things to remember with self-care relating to our mental health are: talk, connect with people, have enjoyment in your life, and grow your self-awareness. Growing self-awareness can be achieved with meditation, mindfulness, journaling and attending counselling.

Counselling is not only for when you are in crisis, but it is great to keep your mental health in a good place and not get overwhelmed with what life can throw at us sometimes. Counselling and Psychotherapy are excellent ways to help you get to a place of good mental health if it is not as it should be. Support groups can really help, so you can meet people who might be going through what you’re going through, helping you not feel so alone.

Reach out when struggling.
Share your feelings and needs.
Saying daily affirmations is a wonderful way to build self-belief and confidence.
Have self-compassion.
Let go of others’ expectations.
Be yourself.
Remind yourself of your strengths (it is not vain).
Forgive yourself.
Aim to be good enough & not perfect.
STOP saying “I should”.

Appreciate yourself.
Notice your own feelings without judgment.
Don’t compare how you feel inside to how others appear on the outside.
Accept yourself.
Let GO of resentment.
Forgive others (Let go of the hurt you hold from others’ behaviour).
Talk about shame and guilt with someone you trust or a therapist.

Social self-care –

Connect with people. It is good to have time to yourself, that is very good for you, but it is important to have a balance of connection too. Have coffee or lunch out with friends and family.

Go for a walk with someone or a group of people. Join a class or activity group and meet new people.

Invite friends and family to your home and go visit them.

Behaviours –